He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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