I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
