So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
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my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
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"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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