At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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