i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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