she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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