We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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