so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
