I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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