This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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