Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
