I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
