Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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