Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
