i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
