Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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