were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
