shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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