Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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