Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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