i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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