I didn't shave. On purpose
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
