my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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