dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
