she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
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