i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
