I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
