I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Fuck appropriateness.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize