Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
