we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we're making bets on your personal life
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
