grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
