I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
