I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
