I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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