thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
