i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize