I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
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Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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