everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
