I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
