Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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