You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
