at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There's always time for handjobs
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
