i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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