What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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