You work out of a Hotel?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
