Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
