Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
