a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
