so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
