You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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