she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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