As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
