So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
