ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
