for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize