Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
