Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
