I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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