Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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