im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
