with your own penis?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
