She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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